28: Who Jesus Says We Are: Secure

I could feel all forty eyes burning a hole in my head as I explained to the foster care trainer during our group exercise on relationships that no, even as a teenager I would not have dated someone that was disrespectful. He scoffed, making some harsh retort about my standards being way too high. For all sixty seconds of a minute, I felt embarrassed. I played with the hem of my blouse, avoiding eye contact. As soon as the sixty seconds was up, I moved on. Who did he think he was to tell me about my standards, anyway? I had been sitting in his classroom for all of four days. It seems to be an ongoing trend in my life, these high standards. I've had them ever since I can remember.  And they've been scoffed at ever since I can remember. But I've never cared  what anyone says about them, and I've never really thought about lowering them for anyone. From the outside looking in, I am a champion of security, paying no mind to what other people think. After all, the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate.

But on the inside? I can be incredibly sensitive and insecure. Instead of letting the words and opinions of others roll off my back, I meditate on them. They burrow underneath my skin and fester there. I'm quick to become bitter and angry. I'm anxious that you might be catching on to my imperfection.

And so I worry. I worry about my expectations, the inner workings of my closet, my thighs that touch, the seventeen layers of dust caked on my baseboards. I wonder what you will think.

I wonder if I'm worthy of your love. I look to you for security.

But the truth is, when we look to other people to ascribe our worth, we will always fall short. There will always be someone who does not notice, who disagrees, who scoffs, or who just doesn't care.

Even though I know that in my head, my heart still hasn't fallen into line. My flesh is clumsy and forgetful. I find myself stumbling, groping for security in my standards, in my good girl image, in my platforms.

But worth and security can only be found in Christ.

Friend, your worth and security are not dependent upon the circumference of your waist, the number of times your womb had been occupied, the cleanliness of your house, your salary, whether you shop at high end retailers or in thrift stores, or what anyone else says about you. It is not dependent upon anything that you have done or ever will do.

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -- Romans 8:37-39

Loved one, did you catch that? Nothing can separate you from His love. It is unrelenting, pursuing, jealous. Your worth is found in the fact that He calls you daughter.

Because I am Yours, my worth is secure.

We can conquer over shame and doubt because of what Jesus has done for us. We can approach Him with confidence, knowing that He is good and He loves us and knows the inner workings of our hearts. He longs to be gracious to us. He longs to show us everyday that He is exactly who He says He is, and that we are His beloved, cherished, very good creation.

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The Conversation Starts Here: 

Where do you go in search of security? Have you found it there?

What do you want others to know about their security?

{Leave your questions + answers + thoughts in the comments below.}

Some Fine Print:

This is the twenty-eighth of thirty-one installments to be posted throughout the month of October. To view the entire table of contents as it is made available, click here. You can receive the entire series in your inbox for free by subscribing via email (no spam, just my heart by way of weblog). Please feel free to pass these words along to a friend. Sharing is caring!