Currently.

On the heels of a busy week that left me feeling like a jumbled mess of contradictions, I meet my friend Julie for breakfast and honesty. We’ve been talking about spiritual gifts recently, something that, despite growing up in a church tradition that holds the Holy Spirit in high esteem, I’ve never had much education on. Julie is curious and kind and will stop at nothing to encourage and affirm what is good and true. I tell her that I’ve been trying to remember that God would not have made me with all of this empathy and introversion and sensitivity and hunger for justice if he couldn’t connect with me this way, and she wholeheartedly agrees.

The first snow of the winter slows us all down to a crawling pace. We sleep in, only venturing out to hunt down breakfast, and share fuzzy throws on our perfectly worn in hand-me-down couch—him watching soccer at one end, and me watching another documentary at the other. It was a much needed sabbath in the midst of holiday shopping and C’s busier than normal work week.

I stir an oversized pot of soup, singing another line of my favorite worship song—a prayer that I want desperately to mean and believe.

During this, the third week of Advent when we remember peace, we receive happy news from some friends and sad news from others. There is life and there is loss. There is uncertainty. I wonder what to do, and I feel so, so small. A stranger living a thousand miles away who cannot possibly know the gravity of her kindness or the perfection of her timing sends a letter reminding me to keep going. It is, without a doubt, a miracle.

Reading and read:
Remember God, by Annie Downs
Just Mercy, by Bryan Stevenson
Assimilate or Go Home, by DL Mayfield
The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown
Love Warrior, by Glennon Doyle Melton

On repeat:
We Say Yes, by Housefires

Watched:
The Patriot Act (web series, Netflix)
For Ahkeem (documentary, Amazon Prime)
The Man in the High Castle (drama, Amazon Prime)

From around the world wide web:
The Downhill Rise to Greatness, by my friend Shannan Martin
This clip of Jenna reading from Revelation at her grandfather’s funeral.
Watching this man get a new smile? Make sure you have some kleenex nearby.

A few other things saving my life:
The cartwheel app for Target has done wonders for our Christmas shopping.
This lip balm is the only thing keeping my lips safe from winter.
We can’t get enough of this crock pot soup in the cooler months.

Peace of Christ to all of us.